caught somewhere between real life, simple faith, & raw emotion
When It’s Good To Hate? [Pt. 2]
Yesterday I posted Part 1 of When It’s Good to Hate? I described and defined what I meant with this curious claim. And I mentioned how I deal with this in the context of an area like marriage in my life. Here is the conclusion:
PARENTING:
This one involves my wife as well, since it is something we do together. We have three boys ages 2, 5, and 7. Some people tMore people equals more problems. Parenting is hard work. And it is frustrating.
Again, when it came to parenting we had a lot to learn. But we do know a few things: we want to raise children that will become wise, well-adjusted, exceptional adults. That means we have to constantly change our strategy to deal with behavior we hate–talking back, fighting, and outright defiance are unacceptable. Any home with kids is ripe with such things. And every parent knows that if you don’t stay on top of this stuff it spirals out of control. It can only take a week to undue a year of work. Just leave your kids with their grandmother while you vacation, if you don’t believe me.
We also really hated discovering our kids were often displaying bad attitudes and behavior that they were learning from us. You can’t expect your kids to be someone you are not willing to be. You have to figure how to work on this (yourself) even more.
My wife and I have to constantly work on ways to encourage, instruct, and love our children. And by the way, the kids are always growing, changing, and have different personalities, so this takes a lot of diligence and creativity. Many parents get annoyed with their own children for the bad behavior they themselves perpetually let slip. And many children begin resenting their own parents because they are expected to be people their parents aren’t willing to be.
So we sense this angst-ridden frustration and try to work on it–before it takes over our family.
FAITH:
This is a BIG one. In fact, I’ve tried to capture this journey within the pages of my book 10 Things I Hate About Christianity: Working Through the Frustrations of Faith.
Faith is the most important thing to me. Why? I’m convinced that there are basically two kinds of people in this world: 1) those that believe that this is all random and accidental and 2) those that don’t. I fall in the “don’t” category. That’s where my faith begins.
In short, I had a very real spiritual experience involving the teachings of Jesus just over 20 years ago. But learning about, developing, and maintaining my faith has always been a challenge. And since it is the most important thing to me, it is the most frustrating thing when it doesn’t work–or work out-the way I want it to. I really hate reaching that point. I got stuck in my spirituality in many areas. So I had to figure out how to work through this stuff in order to keep my faith alive.
For example, these are some things I’ve wondered:
Why doesn’t praying work?
Is the Bible trustworthy or just a tool of the rich white elites (especially men) to control the masses? Is it outdated and old-fashioned?
Do I have to love everyone all the time?
Why are some Christians so crazy, annoying, and judgmental?
Why would a loving God create Hell? Let there be so much evil in the world? Let bad things happen to good people?
In a very real sense, my faith is where all areas of my life converge. That’s why I call my book the intersection of real life, simple faith, and raw emotion. But what do you do when the most important thing to you–the one thing you know to be true–becomes a serious point of frustration? So much so that it makes you angry?
You have to work this anger out. So I did. And I still do–before it takes over my faith.
This precipice of emotion must be an indicator that something needs to change. Otherwise we will fall over that edge into bitter anger. If we train ourselves to stay cautious and aware, it can actually be good to hate.
We’re going to reach these points. We’re going to hate. And to trying avoid it, ignore it, rename it, or be politically correct about it is dangerous. Sometimes you have to name things what they really are in order to truly deal with them. If not, it can damage what is most important to you. That’s what doing nothing does.
The question isn’t whether or not you’re going to reach this point and meet this emotion. The question is, what are you going to do about it when you do? Why not turn the tides? Be honest. Be open. And use this emotion to help you move forward.
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All good questions as well, Richard. In fact, I muse through all of these in the book.
Thanks for the thoughts!
Where to start? As I read the the blog I thought that the word “hate” was a strong word for describing lots of emotions you could be having. Merriam Websters definition of “hate” follows, 1 a : intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury b : extreme dislike or antipathy : loathing. Being frustrated may derive from fear or anger but doesn’t have to include intense hostility. Now as far as faith, and Christian Faith in particular you have to see if you have a Biblical World View. Along with questions you asked I would like to add a few more. Do absolute moral truths exist?
Is absolute truth defined by the Bible? Did Jesus Christ live a sinless life? Is God all powerful and all knowing. Creator of the universe, and does He still rule today?
Is salvation a gift from God that can be earned?
Is Satan real?
Does a Christian have a responsibility to share his or her faith in Christ with there family and other people?
Is the Bible accurate in all of it’s teaching?
Christianity is not something you put on Sundays for an hour and then put it down again for the rest of the week. It is, if we we’re true to Biblical teachings, something you live every waking hour of your life. This is not easy. Paul in Philippians 1:21,22 wrote “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me;”
Don’t get me wrong this is not simple it’s extremely hard and we all fail. Christ and then Paul gives us examples of how we should live and walk as Christians.
I would like to now give you my insight from what I learned about some of the questions you asked.
“Why doesn’t praying work?”
I’ve been taught and have experienced that God answers all genuine prayers. The thing is that it boils down to 3 responses from Him, Yes, No, and Wait.
“Do I have to love everyone all the time?”
Christ said in Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you,”
Christ love is for all, This is not the same love as you have for your spouse, or children or your parents and friends. this is what we can call “tough love” which means consequences for there actions.
“Why would a loving God create Hell?” One quick answer, If you believe in the God of the Bible then you would believe in eternity or life after death. One place is for those who believe in Christ’s death and ressurection for the redemption of sin, and follow Him after accepting that. The other place is for those who reject that. narrow is the path.
“(Why would a loving God)Let there be so much evil in the world?”
Evil or sin was brought into this world by the choice we made that is told of in Genesis. God is love and there is no evil or sin in Him. We chose and choose to disobey God so the evil in this world is of our own doing. Because God loves us He gives us the choice to accept or reject Him. Otherwise we would be just like robots with no will of our own. Thats all for now.