I saw a sticker the other day on a truck. It said:


Life is tuff. Life is tuffer if you’re stupid.

I laughed immediately. And although I don’t typically live my life by bumper-sticker philosophies, this one was true. I suffer from stupid often. And I hate it.

Life has many traps. One of those traps is the happiness trap. And it’s a BIG one.

One of the things I learned through and in society (art, music, tv, music, books, school, etc.) is, above all things, I need to make sure I am happy. But what I never learned is how destructive this is.

For example, if you live by some happiness meter in your marriage (or whatever relationship you value and love immensely), you’re doomed.

Why?

Because happiness wears off. 

In fact, if you get married, it begins to wear off a few months into it. You might say, it is when that honeymoon feeling starts to fade a bit. 

Many things contribute to it. It might be when he rolls over and smells her dragon breath in the morning (and it’s minus make-up and sexy clothes, to make matters worse). Or it might be when she walks in the bathroom after him and hits that potent invisible wall (because he forgot to spray the air-freshener). It is also when you start to have those good fights.

The point is, the happiness wears off

So what do you do? 

Much of culture would say to move on and find happiness somewhere else. Herein begins the destruction. 

Happiness is an emotion, an appetite, and a fix. You always need another one when the feeling goes away. 

So what to do?

Of course, I want to be happy. I love being happy. But it is not my goal. 

My goal in life is to strive for contentment. 

Contentment is a strategy, attitude, and approach. And you can learn to be content regardless of surrounding circumstances, no matter how happy the meter inside says you are. Contentment trancsends circumstance and emotion–you can have it in good and bad times. But it takes discipline.

To add to this, I strive for wisdom. Because I figure if I can learn to make wise decisions (and not be so stupid), I will ultimately be happy. I didn’t make this up. I’m not smart enough. It’s a thread found throughout the old Hebrew proverbs.

So is your life tuff? Just try not to make different areas of your life unnecessarily tuffer. It’s hard, but it’s better.