Dear Christian, Don’t Do Your Best

I have a motto in life. It will sound strange and controversial. The motto is:

>Don’t do your best.

I know! Right? The reality is, sometimes trying your best isn’t good enough. You know the scenario. Your favorite team has tried their hardest in a critical playoff game, but for some reason they just couldn’t achieve a win.

Doing your best in a competition is one thing, but most often it is not good enough in matters that involve character, relationships, and life-choices.

>You must not think in those terms in these areas.

I have heard a cheating spouse sum up their choices in the marriage saying, “I did my best.” Really? I get it. The marriage became difficult. Your spouse wouldn’t change in some important areas that eventually drove you away emotionally. But it’s hard to believe that cheating was your best.

I have listened as a parent described their choice to leave home finish with, “I did my best.” So not helping to raise your child is your best? Never being at games, plays, or birthdays was your best? Shame on you.

These individuals tell themselves they did their best so they can justify wrong choices and live with themselves. The truth is, in these scenarios, the person did what he or she was willing, or even able, to do at the time. I’ll give them that. But it doesn’t change the reality. And if they really did their best, the cold hard truth is: it wasn’t good enough.

“I did my best” is a defeatist statement that masks guilt and deflects responsibility. I know it sound hard and harsh. There are no apologies or spoons of sugar that can make some truths softer. Don’t get caught in this cycle.

Don’t do your best. Sometimes it’s not good enough. What’s the solution? Instead, do what’s right. Again:

>Don’t do your best, do what’s right. 

Let me make it clear, in a competition do your best, but in matters of character do what’s right.

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