This weekend brought many reflections. If you are intent on following and understanding the teachings and life of Jesus of Nazareth, it better. That’s what commemorating his death and resurrection should do at a minimum. 

Maybe I’m really messed up, but I was sitting there during my church’s Easter service as I began reflecting on an odd musing.

What was it?

I started to realize how much I despise Atheists. For a few seconds it became very potent. My passions seemed to flood my mind and distract me from what was supposed to be a very somber and respectful moment. Here was jerky old me destroying a once-a-year-special-event with jerky thoughts and my usual jerkiness. But hear me out for a second before you send me jerky emails.

Why do I hate Atheists?

Because they have decided. They’re done. They’ve settled the matter in their minds and moved on.

For me, faith requires a constant and untiring vigilance. I continually battle doubt, discouragement, pain, and unmet expectations (to name just a few). I always have to figure out how what Jesus says applies to my life. What does it mean to me as a husband? A father? A business man? A citizen? Is my world-view influencing my faith? Or is my faith affecting my world-view (which is my goal)? Not to mention, did he really rise from the dead (what it all hinges on)?

So I guess, in a way, in this regard, I am really jealous of Atheists. I wish I could let it go and be done with it all. And not let it bother me. I just can’t. I have to fight every day to maintain my faith. Yes, I choose the fight. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard.

Make no mistake, I choose my way over theirs. I mean no disrespect. I simply mean to solidify what I do in fact believe with my final thought. I hold dear the wager that the philosopher/mathematicians Blaise Pascal held dear (and said much better than I):

“But your happiness? Let us weigh
the gain and the loss in wagering that God is… If you gain, you gain
all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation
that He is.”

 Decision Matrix God exists God does not exist
Wager for God Gain all Status quo
Wager against God Misery Status quo

[chart courtesy of Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy]

*I think I plan on writing an a Special Report on this in the future. Click here to see my first one on what I hate about accomplishing goals.*