10. Cops to finally give people tickets for driving too slow in the fast-lane. Sorry Grannie.

9. Principal will not be charged for illegally suspending student for 7 weeks because School Board says…wait for it…it’s too expensive to pursue justice. Go public school! I sure feel safe sending my children to such a fine government institution.

8. Black-birds are dive-bombing Chicago residents. The solution? Bark like dogs to scare off birds. That’s ruff.

7. NASA extremist James Hansen warns that “it’s the end of the world as we know it” and “the final countdown” for earth because of Global Warming. WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!

6. 5 80’s “sport toys” that didn’t kill us kids but would be illegal in today’s nanny state. I love Big Wheels!

5. In the spirit of Dwight, question: What’s the funniest show on TV right now? Answer: The Office. Steve Carell just signed on for three more years of “The Office”. That makes me very happy! (that’s what she said)

4. Arkansas man arrested for kidnapping and beating mother over death of pet skunk. That stinks.

3. Dallas resident sees Jesus in granite slab (click to see pic). That’s some cosmic home improvement.

2. Spanish parliament extends human rights to apes. I’m goin’ ape over this stupidity. No word yet on whether monkeys will be entitled to unemployment benefits or socialized medicine.

1. It seems the Supreme Court’s ruling this week to defend the 2nd Amendment Rights of citizens may be a “loaded” decision. Big government still has loophole ways of taking aways the freedoms of citizens. When will the judicial branch realize it is not their job to interpret the Constitution? Their job is to enforce and maintain it. Bam!