One of the hardest lesson’s I’ve had to learn is the lie about love. Sound strange? It is.

Our culture’s literature, movies, poems, songs, and the like constantly reinforce our self-love. “Love yourself,” they insist. “Make sure you’re happy.”

But happily ever after isn’t real life.

Surrendering to that whimsical emotion is reckless and selfish. What do I do when the rush wears off (because it always does)? Do I set out to conquer a new love and ignore the consequences of this pattern?

That idea of love is a dirty, filthy, evil lie.

This is why I’ve had to unlearn and then relearn what it means to love. And it hasn’t been easy.

The lesson to learn? Love is a choice.

Sure we all know that. We even say it, even though it’s in contradiction to the cultural idea of love (the emotion). For me, it’s as if I hold both to be true at the same time, even though they work against each other. But they can’t be both. That doesn’t work. That destroys relationships and lives. So I try to make the choice every day.

Love is a choice and it takes discipline and is a discipline. I’m trying to learn it well.