The Lie Of Love
Our culture’s literature, movies, poems, songs, and the like constantly reinforce our self-love. “Love yourself,” they insist. “Make sure you’re happy.”
But happily ever after isn’t real life.
Surrendering to that whimsical emotion is reckless and selfish. What do I do when the rush wears off (because it always does)? Do I set out to conquer a new love and ignore the consequences of this pattern?
That idea of love is a dirty, filthy, evil lie.
This is why I’ve had to unlearn and then relearn what it means to love. And it hasn’t been easy.
The lesson to learn? Love is a choice.
Sure we all know that. We even say it, even though it’s in contradiction to the cultural idea of love (the emotion). For me, it’s as if I hold both to be true at the same time, even though they work against each other. But they can’t be both. That doesn’t work. That destroys relationships and lives. So I try to make the choice every day.
Love is a choice and it takes discipline and is a discipline. I’m trying to learn it well.