caught somewhere between real life, simple faith, & raw emotion
Posts tagged Christmas
10 Things You Didn’t Know About ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’
012 years
If you around my age then you LOVE A Charlie Brown Christmas. The beloved Snoopy, Linus, and Pig-Pen, and Charlie bring humor and comfort. I’ve watched it every year for my whole life. And now I watch it with my kids, who seem to enjoy it too.
Did you know there are 10 Things you didn’t know about ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’? Here they are. You can click the link above to read the backstory behind each one:
10. Most of the voice actors were cast from kids in the director’s neighborhood
9. Some of the child actors were so young, they couldn’t read the script
8. Charles Schulz refused to let CBS executives insert a laugh track
7. Schulz actually hated jazz music
6. The network execs and sponsors hated the special and wanted to bury it
5. The producers thought it would be a flop and that they “ruined Charlie Brown forever”
4. Snoopy got all the action scenes because he was the easiest to animate
3. Some earlier runs of the special included product placements for Coca-Cola
2. It is the second longest-running Christmas special of all time
>1. Linus’ “True Meaning of Christmas” speech was almost cut!
Can you believe the speech by Linus was almost cut? The best part! Can you imagine?
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My Kid Hates On Christmas
012 years
This is what happened a couple years ago on Christmas morning. Gotta love it!
How About An Atheist Christmas Carol
412 years
It’s Christmas time. So I was wondering what people who don’t believe in anything do during this season, since I wish everyone the best. Sure, they enjoy the merriment and paid vacations and food and gifts that is all the result of those of us celebrating the birth of Jesus through the ages. But that last part is, well, stupid. Right? Just ignore that.
Okay, okay. Maybe stupid is too harsh a word for this friendly time of year. If you believe that Jesus thing, then you’re just mislead and naive. See how Christmasy and friendly I feel?
In any event, I started thinking what atheists sing this time of year. So I looked for an atheist Christmas carol. Believe it or not, they exist. There are mostly mocking ones, but there are a few serious ones. I want to highlight both here.
First, the serious.
Much has been made of Vienna Teng’s The Atheist Christmas Carol. Now let’s ignore the fact that the word christ is in the very title. She sings very beautifully, for sure. And after listening to her beautiful song I decided to look deeper. And I found the lyrics, well, somewhat lacking in meaning.
That is not meant to be cliche or hyperbole. I am a writer, but I am a lyricist by nature first and foremost. The message was, in fact, fairly empty.
Pretty. But empty.
I suppose that is the challenge–writing something deep and meaningful about…nothing.
Here are the lyrics. See what you think.
It’s the season of grace coming out of the void
Where a man is saved by a voice in the distance
It’s the season of possible miracle cures
Where hope is currency and death is not the last unknown
Where time begins to fade
And age is welcome home
It’s the season of eyes meeting over the noise
And holding fast with sharp realization
It’s the season of cold making warmth a divine intervention
You are safe here you know now
Don’t forget, don’t forget
I love, I love, I love you
Don’t forget, don’t forget
I love, I love, I love you
It’s the season of scars and of wounds in the heart
Of feeling the full weight of our burdens
It’s the season of bowing our heads in the wind
And knowing we are not alone in fear, not alone in the dark
Don’t forget, don’t forget
I love, I love, I love you
Don’t forget, don’t forget
I love, I love, I love you
Next, I move on the a mocking Christmas carol. But let’s be kind. Let’s just call it humorous.
This one has no title. But it won an atheist Christmas carols contest over here. I think it’s very funny. And please stay for my comment at the end. Here are the lyrics.
*To the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas”*
On the first day a big mess exploded loud and free – remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the second day the suns and the planets came to be. No lifeforms yet,
but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the third day volcanoes erupted ceaselessly. ‘Twas pretty hot, no lifeforms yet, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the fourth day the landmasses grew above the sea. No God involved, still pretty hot, no lifeforms yet, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the fifth day the first cells swam around with glee. Naaaature is hot! No God involved, weather now fine, lifeforms are there, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the sixth day there’s backbones and eyes for all to see. Pretty cool stuff, Naaature is hot! No God involved, weather now fine, lifeforms are glad, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the seventh day some lifeforms came ashore to pee. They had legs a-running, pretty cool stuff, Naaature is hot! No God involved, weather now fine, lifeforms are glad, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the eight day the lizards ruled the land and sea. Introduce extinction, legs a-running no help, pretty cool stuff, Naaature is hot! No God involved, weather rather cold, lifeforms are few, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the ninth day some pre-apes decided to stand free. Soon they were dancing, around camp fires, with legs a-running, pretty cool stuff, Naaature is hot! No God involved, weather still cold, lifeforms have fun, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the tenth day the first priest invented idiocy. Gods everywhere now, they want us dancing, with legs a-hurting, oh, what a shame – aaall without proof! Gods getting pop’lar, weather now warm, lifeforms do pray, no one knows the Big Bang Theory.
On the eleventh day the churches controlled the minds unfree. Just one God, which one is right, they want crusaders, with swords a-slinging, oh, what a shame – aaall without proof! Monotheism, weather quite dark, lifeforms do pray, no one knows the Big Bang Theory.
*pitch upwards*
On the twelfth day the clever ones finally broke free! No more Gods, but atheism, science is right, tell the believers: “No swords a-slinging, no holy war, Naaature is hot! Weather is sunny, lifeforms shall think and we all love the Big Bang Theoryyyyyy!”
So there it is. The Big Bang Theory. It’s all built on that. The only ‘reasonable’ thing to ask is, how do you get something from nothing?
And atheists think they don’t have faith…
Fa la la, la la la, la la la!
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How About Some Jesus Toast For Christmas?
012 years
It’s Christmas and you may be wondering what to get someone. You may be in luck–or at least in the providential flow of God’s sovereign will.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, may I suggest the Jesus toaster? With each piece of toast it burns an image of Jesus or the Virgin Mary into the face of the toast (see picture) for only $39.95.
Perhaps you have some very religious friends. Perhaps you are very religious yourself. Or maybe you are an atheist and just want to mock your neighbor or relative at the most wonderful time of the year. Then the Jesus Toaster is the perfect gift!
So get your God on and buy the Jesus Toaster from Burnt Impressions. Operators are standing by…
And yes, this is real.
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Santa Died For Your Sins?
012 years
[Update on this story below]
In Loudoun County Santa came to town, but it is not what you think. Here is a display that appeared on the Loudon County courthouse grounds one morning. As you can see it is a skeleton dressed up like Santa hanging on a cross.
Are you offended?
I don’t like it, but my briches aren’t in a twist about it. As you can imagine, it has caused quite an uproar. According to this article, skeleton Santa was meant:
“to depict society’s materialistic obsessions and addictions and how it is killing the peace, love, joy and kindness that is supposed to be prevalent during the holiday season.”
Uh, uh, uh, not so fast. Over the years, the Christmas season has brought several controversies to this county. The article also reports:
The issue of holiday displays — which have grown increasingly eclectic in recent years, representing Atheism, Jediism and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster alongside traditional displays — first sparked a heated debate in November 2009, when a resident-led committee decided the county should ban unattended displays outside the courthouse because of a rising number of requests to use the space.
That decision drew the anger of local residents after a rotary group’s application to place a Christmas tree on court grounds was denied. The county Board of Supervisors addressed the matter by creating a policyallowing as many as 10 groups to place displays on the courthouse grounds at any time, on a first-come, first-served basis.
My gut tells me this isn’t some social commentary on materialism. It isn’t an “Occupy the North Pole” or “Occupy Christmas” movement. There is more to this.
It is a mockery plain and simple. Yes, it is a form of protected speech, but my guess is that this is a nonreligious person (or group of people) making a statement about the Christian religion.
*yawn*
The sad thing here is that nonreligious movements usually involve mockery and destroying. Not debate. Not true social interaction and commentary. Just destroying what people value most. It is quite an irony since the main complaint from those who are nonreligious (who I have no problem with) is that religion is destructive.
Merry Christmas!
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[Update: This post was published at 6:30 AM Dec. 7th. As of this afternoon, crucified Santa has been removed. Ho! Ho! Ho!]
Christmas Smackdown: Santa vs Jesus
212 years
This time of year always brings a little tension in my family. Many years ago when we had our first child, my wife and I had to decide between Santa and Jesus.
Now that may sound stupid to you. But most of us who’ve grown-up in America were told there’s Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, God, and Jesus. We teach kids they’re all real, but they’re not all real.
Eventually our kids will be okay with Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy being cute little white lies, while accepting Jesus and God as completely legit—right?
Not really. At least I don’t think so, and it’s something I talk about in my book 10 Things I Hate About Christianity: Working Through the Frustrations of Faith. So Santa is something that my wife and I have spoken about in depth, because ultimately we want to be honest with out children.
Will we tell our kids about Santa?
More importantly, will Santa be the one who gives them their gifts?
On a humorous side-note, it’s funny how many atheists (and some agnostics) have railed me over the years for teaching my kids about Jesus and God—something that can’t be proven. You know, they want to wait to introduce ideas of faith and religion to their kids when they’re old enough to decide for themselves.
Sounds so intellectual and enlightened, right?
But these people have had no problem telling their kids about a fat guy sliding down the chimney with a sack full of gifts and eating the cookies and milk, his elves, flying reindeer, and somehow doing this at midnight in every home all around the world. What’s with that? Do I have a problem with the story of Santa? Not at all. We’re not Grinches. We tell our kids the story of the real Saint Nicholas. But we’ve decided that’s where it stops. Sorry Santa. No cookies for you at the Berggren home.
It’s not always easy. A few years ago our middle child (who was 5) confessed that he told a friend at school that day that Santa isn’t real. Of course, this is something we have coached our children notto do extensively. So we reprimanded him.
This issue may not be a big deal to you, and I understand. For us, this all came together when our oldest was about three. Like most, he was still enamored by the story Santa. We had to explain it again.
And when he added “…and Jesus and the Bible!” we were floored. Now, I’m sure there are some (that don’t believe in God) that love the fact my son made that connection. But for us, Jesus is real and we explained that to him all over again.
So there is a little dynamic about our family and Christmas. I’m sure you have some funny family dynamics as well. It’s what makes life interesting.
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*much of this was taken from a previous post.
Fear, Judgment, and The Birth Of Jesus
012 years
It’s the holidays. It’s a time when we see family…and try to ignore awkward tensions and not fight. Speaking of, did you know noted atheist Christopher Hitchin’s brother is a devoted Christian? AWKWARD! His name is Peter Hitchins. I wouldn’t want to be eating with them on Christmas no matter how good the ham is. In any event, this is a time when we celebrate the birth of Christ. To many, this is a great relief and brings peace. But others see it as an event that brings judgment and pain–since they don’t believe. Here is an amazing excerpt from Peter Hitchin’s book on this very matter:
What I can recall, very sharply indeed, is a visit to the Hotel-Dieu in Beaune, a town my girlfriend and I had gone to mainly in search of the fine food and wines of Burgundy. But we were educated travelers and strayed, guidebook in hand, into the ancient hospital. And there, worth the journey according to the Green Michelin guide, was Rogier van der Weyden’s fifteenth-century polyptych The Last Judgment.
I scoffed. Another religious painting! Couldn’t these people think of anything else to depict? Still scoffing, I peered at the naked figures fleeing toward the pit of hell, out of my usual faintly morbid interest in the alleged terrors of damnation. But this time I gaped, my mouth actually hanging open. These people did not appear remote or from the ancient past; they were my own generation. Because they were naked, they were not imprisoned in their own age by time-bound fashions. On the contrary, their hair and, in an odd way, the set of their faces were entirely in the style of my own time. They were me and the people I knew. One of them — and I have always wondered how the painter thought of it — is actually vomiting with shock and fear at the sound of the Last Trump.
I did not have a “religious experience.” Nothing mystical or inexplicable took place — no trance, no swoon, no vision, no voices, no blaze of light. But I had a sudden, strong sense of religion being a thing of the present day, not imprisoned under thick layers of time. A large catalogue of misdeeds, ranging from the embarrassing to the appalling, replayed themselves rapidly in my head. I had absolutely no doubt that I was among the damned, if there were any damned.
And what if there were? How did I know there were not? I did not know. I could not know. Van der Weyden was still earning his fee, nearly 500 years after his death. I had simply no idea that an adult could be frightened, in broad daylight and after a good lunch, by such things. I have always enjoyed scaring myself mildly with the ghost stories of M. R. James, mainly because of the cozy, safe feeling that follows a good fictional fright. You turn the page and close the book, and the horror is safely contained. This epiphany was not like that at all.
No doubt I should be ashamed to confess that fear played a part in my return to religion. I could easily make up some other more creditable story. But I should be even more ashamed to pretend that fear did not. I have felt proper fear, not very often but enough to know that is is an important gift that helps us to think clearly at moments of danger. I have felt it in peril on the road, when it slowed down my perception of the bucking, tearing, screaming collision into which I had hurled myself, thus enabling me to retain enough presence of mind to shut down the engine of my wrecked motorcycle and turn off the fuel tap in case it caught fire, and then to stumble, badly injured, to the relative safety of the roadside. I have felt it outside a copper mine in Africa, when the car I was in was surrounded by a crowd of enraged, impoverished people who had decided, with some justification, that I was their enemy. There, fear enabled me to stay silent and still until the danger was over, when I very much wanted to cry out in panic or do something desperate (both of which, I am sure, would have led to my death). I have felt it when Soviet soldiers fired on a crowd rather near me, and so I lay flat on my back in the filthy snow, quite untroubled by my ridiculous position because I had concluded, wisely, that being wounded would be much worse than being embarrassed.
But the most important time was when I stood in front of Rogier van der Weyden’s great altarpiece and trembled for the things of which my conscience was afraid (and is afraid). Fear is good for us and helps us to escape from great dangers. Those who do not feel it are in permanent peril because they cannot see the risks that lie at their feet. (The Rage Against God: How Atheism Led Me to Faith, 101-104)
Powerful.
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10 Things I Still Hate About The Holidays
112 years
*This is a tongue-in-cheek article I wrote and like to repost every year. It is inspired my my book 10 Things I Hate About Christianity and hopefully I will add some levity and focus to this time of year.
The holidays are upon us. I’ve been through enough of them now to know come January 1st I will have a list of things swimming around in my mind. And it’s not a “resolution” kind of list. It’s a “Where did all the fun that I was supposed to have go this holiday?” kind of list. It’s a “I have bunch of regrets mixed in with my fond memories” kind of list.
To preempt the regrets in order to create a reservoir of overwhelmingly positive memories, I have decided to make a list of all the things I hate about the holidays to bring out what is (or should be) most important to me. And I think we can all see ourselves somewhere in this list. So I hope it helps with your holiday celebration whatever it may be—Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Ramadan, or Festivus (for the rest of us). Plus, I hope it might add a little levity and bring some focus to this busy time. Sometimes it helps to have a sense of humor.
10. Decorating. I hate all the time it takes to decorate. Now, let me be clear, I love decorations and things being decorated. I just don’t like doing it! The untangling of lights, finding hooks for each ornament, finding the one bulb in a string of 50 that is keeping the whole string dead, and pretending like I am having so much fun for the kids sake is all very frustrating. A few years ago, we even resorted to having an artificial Christmas tree. As much as I hate it and vowed to NEVER sink to such a low, it’s so much better (and easier)— less mess, less money, no maintenance. I even keep it stored, fully assembled in the basement. So I literally have the tree up in ten minutes when it’s time to get started. We also light a pine tree scented candle so our visitors think it’s real. But the kids like all the hoopla and that’s enough for me. Plus, I do love putting the train around the tree. That’s pretty awesome, although our 9 month old seems to be deathly afraid of it. Not sure what to do about that one.
9. Shopping. UGH! I’m not a good gift giver or receiver. My wife, Lisa, does the shopping for the gifts for the kids. That is VERY good! I do love that. Sure, we talk about what to get, but she does all the work in the end. The problem is, I always wait until the last minute when shopping for her. Yes, I know it’s a man-cliché. It’s just how it happens. Thank God stores are open Christmas Eve! For me, there is nothing worse than going to the mall during the holidays. You just can’t get everything on-line. Some people get recharged emotionally shopping at the mall (like my wife). I just get suicidal. I’m also not good at telling others what I want. That doesn’t make it easy for others to shop for me. It’s not that I don’t want stuff. I just hate telling people what I want. Plus, everything has a dollar value to me nowadays, so I think about how much we’re spending constantly. Besides, I like life simple. I like relaxing, going to the movies, and eating. It’s not like you can put a rib-eye in the stocking, right? Plus, the things I really do want are just too much money (a remodeled house, new truck, 1,000,000 copies of my book to be sold etc. are some things that come to mind). I even had someone email me their total after Christmas shopping. It was $666.66. They had to tell me. Hilarious! That’ll make you think your Christmas shopping isn’t quite right.
8. Fighting. Don’t lie, we all have several snippy moments during the most wonderful time of the year. And yes, some of us even argue. We might even yell at the kids a little. It’s hard, stressful, and tense trying to have so much fun and make something so special. We want it all to be so perfect and that can set us off quite easily. Tempers flare during what is supposed to be a very satisfying and relaxing season with the family. You may also be tense from the traveling to visit family. Now throw all the other things on my list in and you have a recipe for disaster.
7. Fat. Not you, but me. We all gain a little around the holidays and it’s not usually character, patience, or anything useful like that. It’s weight. Overeat? That doesn’t mean anything to me this time of year. Full? What does that have to do with anything? Eating is a state-of-mind for me. You have to be disciplined and really apply yourself if you want to do it properly. Portion and rationing are the smart thing to do. But since when is smart fun when it comes to food? Turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, honey-baked ham, rib-roast, sweet potatoes, apple pie. Yes please! Anyone hungry yet?
6. Montezuma’s Revenge. If you don’t get that reference, it doesn’t mean you won’t get it from eating so much food. Tums and Pepto-Bismal will help. That’s right, I said it. Fried this and saturated that starts to catch up. For me, there’s no way around it because I refuse to eat responsibly during the holidays. That just wouldn’t be any fun now would it! As a matter of fact, I am a handyman by day and I’ve even put Tums in the first-aid kit for just such an emergency.
5. Holiday Blues. I hate the fact that the holiday mindset doesn’t set in until it is all nearly over. I think if I could take off work from Halloween until News Years Day, it might get me in the right holiday mindset sooner and keep me there longer. Sounds good, right? You’d have time to get the stressful ‘to-do’ items done, relax, and know there is even enough time to recoup. But mostly we’re working and shopping right until the last minute, so the holiday feeling doesn’t set in because we haven’t been still or relaxed enough to ‘detox’ from the regular routine of life. I usually hit the ground running during holidays. What’s worse is, once I realize the relaxing euphoria has finally set in, it is followed by the thought that the holiday season will be over in a day or two.
4. Political Correctness. This is a relatively recent development. Over the past five or so years there have been some ridiculous things happening surrounding the holidays. From public school teachers being threatened with formal reprimands for saying Merry Christmas, to Christmas trees being removed from public grounds because they have a religious meaning. And if the trees aren’t removed, they are simply called ‘Holiday Trees’ in order to be more inclusive. The funny thing is, Christmas trees are actually a pagan practice that Christians adopted. That’s the problem with political correctness gone wild. You forget who you are and what it’s really about. So Happy Ramanahanakwanzmas? NO! Merry Christmas! I wish you all the best. But that’s how we role around here.
3. Spenders Remorse. In order for it to feel like a holiday, I spend freely. This is because in our everyday lives we have to be budget conscious. I hate the feeling like I am spending too much, but at the same time, I ignore it so it will still feel like a holiday. This only compounds the issue. We always go over budget. Not sure how not to do that one.
2. Santa. I don’t hate Santa, but hate the issue of Santa within our family. Why? Because most of us who’ve grown-up in America were told there’s Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, God, and Jesus. We teach kids they’re all real, but they’re not all real. Eventually our kids will be okay with Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy being cute little white lies, while accepting Jesus and God as completely legit—right? Not really. At least I don’t think so, and it’s something I talk about in my book 10 Things I Hate About Christianity: Working Through the Frustrations of Faith. This is something that my wife and I have spoken about in depth. Will we tell our kids about Santa? Will Santa be the one who gives them their gifts? It’s funny how many atheists(and some agnostics) have railed me over the years for teaching my kids about Jesus and God—something that can’t be proven. You know, they want to wait to introduce ideas of faith and religion when their kids are old enough to decide for themselves. Sounds so intellectual and enlightened, right? But these people have had no problem telling their kids about a fat guy sliding down the chimney with a sack full of gifts and eating the cookies and milk, his elves, flying reindeer, and somehow doing this at midnight in every home all around the world. What’s with that? Do I have a problem with the story of Santa? Not at all. We’re not Grinches. We tell our kids the story of the real Saint Nicholas. But we’ve decided that’s where it stops. Sorry Santa. No cookies for you at the Berggren home.
1. Forgetting. I suppose #2 really leads to this one. I don’t know what it is all about for you (the holidays, that is). But for me it’s supposed to be about the birth of Jesus— you know, the most influential person in history. I hate that all of the above stuff on my list tends to get in the way of what these times are supposed to be about. I have to tell myself more than once during the holidays, “It’s all about Jesus, stupid!” I don’t want to forget to remember what my priorities are supposed to be. Whatever you believe in, I hope you’ll add value to yourself and those around you by relaxing, spending time with loved ones, and celebrating. That’s the #1 thing. It’s what the holidays are supposed to be all about. And I love that.
Lastly…MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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The Best Christmas Video Clip EVER!
113 years
Well Merry Christmas to you and your family! I wish you all the best. You can click here to read this passage and read more of the story of Jesus–a portion of which is quoted in the clip below. We’ll talks soon…
10 Things I Hate About the Holiday Season
313 years
*Here’s a little tongue-in-cheek article I wrote to add some levity and focus to this time of year.
The holidays are upon us. I’ve been through enough of them now to know come January 1st I will have a list of things swimming around in my mind. And it’s not a “resolution” kind of list. It’s a “Where did all the fun that I was supposed to have go this holiday?” kind of list. It’s a “I have bunch of regrets mixed in with my fond memories” kind of list.
To preempt the regrets in order to create a reservoir of overwhelmingly positive memories, I have decided to make a list of all the things I hate about the holidays to bring out what is (or should be) most important to me. And I think we can all see ourselves somewhere in this list. So I hope it helps with your holiday celebrations whatever they may be—Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Ramadan, or Festivus (for the rest of us). Plus, I hope it might add a little levity and bring some focus to this busy time. Sometimes it helps to have a sense of humor.
10. Decorating. I hate all the time it takes to decorate. Now, let me be clear, I love decorations and things being decorated. I just don’t like doing it! The untangling of lights, finding hooks for each ornament, finding the one bulb in a string of 50 that is keeping the whole string dead, and pretending like I am having so much fun for the kids sake is all very frustrating. A few years ago, we even resorted to having an artificial Christmas tree. As much as I hate it and vowed to NEVER sink to such a low, it’s so much better (and easier)— less mess, less money, no maintenance. I even keep it stored, fully assembled in the basement. So I literally have the tree up in ten minutes when it’s time to get started. We also light a pine tree scented candle so our visitors think it’s real. But the kids like all the hoopla and that’s enough for me. Plus, I do love putting the train around the tree. That’s pretty awesome.
9. Shopping. UGH! I’m not a good gift giver or receiver. My wife, Lisa, does the shopping for the gifts for the kids. That is VERY good! I do love that. Sure, we talk about what to get, but she does all the work in the end. The problem is, I always wait until the last minute when shopping for her. Yes, I know it’s a man-cliché. It’s just how it happens. Thank God stores are open Christmas Eve! For me, there is nothing worse than going to the mall during the holidays. You just can’t get everything on-line. Some people get recharged emotionally shopping at the mall (like my wife). I just get suicidal. I’m also not good at telling others what I want. That doesn’t make it easy for others to shop for me. It’s not that I don’t want stuff. I just hate telling people what I want. Plus, everything has a dollar value to me nowadays, so I think about how much we’re spending constantly. Besides, I like life simple. I like relaxing, going to the movies, and eating. It’s not like you can put a rib-eye in the stocking, right? Plus, the things I really do want are just too much money (a remodeled house, new truck, 1,000,000 copies of my book to be sold etc. are some things that come to mind).*Update: I just had someone email me their total after Christmas shopping. It was $666.66. They instantly thought of this and had to tell me. Hilarious!
8. Fighting. Don’t lie, we all have several snippy moments during the most wonderful time of the year. And yes, some of us even argue. We might even yell at the kids a little. It’s hard, stressful, and tense trying to have so much fun and make something so special. We want it all to be so perfect and that can set us off quite easily. Tempers flare during what is supposed to be a very satisfying and relaxing season with the family. You may also be tense from the traveling to visit family. Now throw all the other things on my list in and you have a recipe for disaster.
7. Fat. Not you, but me. We all gain a little around the holidays and it’s not usually character, patience, or anything useful like that. It’s weight. Overeat? That doesn’t mean anything to me this time of year. Full? What does that have to do with anything? Eating is a state-of-mind for me. You have to be disciplined and really apply yourself if you want to do it properly. Portion and rationing are the smart thing to do. But since when is smart fun when it comes to food? Turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, honey-baked ham, rib-roast, sweet potatoes, apple pie. Yes please! Anyone hungry yet?
6. Montezuma’s Revenge. If you don’t get that reference, it doesn’t mean you won’t get it from eating so much food. Tums and Pepto-Bismal will help. That’s right, I said it. Fried this and saturated that starts to catch up. For me, there’s no way around it because I refuse to eat responsibly during the holidays. That just wouldn’t be any fun now would it! As a matter of fact, I am a handyman by day and I’ve even put Tums in the first-aid kit for just such an emergency.
5. Holiday Blues. I hate the fact that the holiday mindset doesn’t set in until it is all nearly over. I think if I could take off work from Halloween until News Years Day, it might get me in the right holiday mindset sooner and keep me there longer. Sounds good, right? You’d have time to get the stressful ‘to-do’ items done, relax, and know there is even enough time to recoup. But mostly we’re working and shopping right until the last minute, so the holiday feeling doesn’t set in because we haven’t been still or relaxed enough to ‘detox’ from the regular routine of life. I usually hit the ground running during holidays. What’s worse is, once I realize the relaxing euphoria has finally set in, it is followed by the thought that the holiday season will be over in a day or two.
4. Political Correctness. This is a relatively recent development. Over the past five or so years there have been some ridiculous things happening surrounding the holidays. From public school teachers being threatened with formal reprimands for saying Merry Christmas, to Christmas trees being removed from public grounds because they have a religious meaning. And if the trees aren’t removed, they are simply called ‘Holiday Trees’ in order to be more inclusive. The funny thing is, Christmas trees are actually a pagan practice that Christians adopted. That’s the problem with political correctness gone wild. You forget who you are and what it’s really about. So Happy Ramanahanakwanzmas? NO! Merry Christmas! I wish you all the best. But that’s how we role around here.
3. Spenders Remorse. In order for it to feel like a holiday, I spend freely. This is because in our everyday lives we have to be budget conscious. I hate the feeling like I am spending too much, but at the same time, I ignore it so it will still feel like a holiday. This only compounds the issue. We always go over budget. Not sure how not to do that one.
2. Santa. I don’t hate Santa, but hate the issue of Santa within our family. Why? Because most of us who’ve grown-up in America were told there’s Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, God, and Jesus. We teach kids they’re all real, but they’re not all real. Eventually our kids will be okay with Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy being cute little white lies, while accepting Jesus and God as completely legit—right? Not really. At least I don’t think so, and it’s something I talk about in my book 10 Things I Hate About Christianity: Working Through the Frustrations of Faith. This is something that my wife and I have spoken about in depth. Will we tell our kids about Santa? Will Santa be the one who gives them their gifts? It’s funny how many atheists(and some agnostics) have railed me over the years for teaching my kids about Jesus and God—something that can’t be proven. You know, they want to wait to introduce ideas of faith and religion when their kids are old enough to decide for themselves. Sounds so intellectual and enlightened, right? But these people have had no problem telling their kids about a fat guy sliding down the chimney with a sack full of gifts and eating the cookies and milk, his elves, flying reindeer, and somehow doing this at midnight in every home all around the world. What’s with that? Do I have a problem with the story of Santa? Not at all. We’re not Grinches. We tell our kids the story of the real Saint Nicholas. But we’ve decided that’s where it stops. Sorry Santa. No cookies for you at the Berggren home.
1. Forgetting. I suppose #2 really leads to this one. I don’t know what it is all about for you (the holidays, that is). But for me it’s supposed to be about the birth of Jesus— you know, the most influential person in history. I hate that all of the above stuff on my list tends to get in the way of what these times are supposed to be about. I have to tell myself more than once during the holidays, “It’s all about Jesus, stupid!” I don’t want to forget to remember what my priorities are supposed to be. Whatever you believe in, I hope you’ll add value to yourself and those around you by relaxing, spending time with loved ones, and celebrating. That’s the #1 thing. It’s what the holidays are supposed to be all about. And I love that.
Lastly…MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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VIDEO: The Most Offensive Word EVER from a Public Employee!
313 years
This will be the only news item I highlight this week. I don’t want to get to heavy. But I thought this was appropriate.
Below is a video clip what NPR’s Nina Totenberg said on PBS this weekend. Notice as she’s talking. She apologizes for saying that she was at a “Christmas Party.” It’s not that she’s sorry for admitting she went to the party. She’s sorry that she had to say the word “Christmas” in order to describe it–because I guess Christmas is so offensive to so many.
How dare you Nina!
Is this what we we’re coming to in this country? Do we really have to be that politically correct? This is not liberty, this is legalism.
MERRY CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS!
Santa vs. Jesus Once Again
213 years
This time of year always brings a little tension in my family. Many years ago when we had our first child, my wife and I had to decide between Santa and Jesus.
Now that may sound stupid to you. But most of us who’ve grown-up in America were told there’s Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, God, and Jesus. We teach kids they’re all real, but they’re not all real. Eventually our kids will be okay with Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy being cute little white lies, while accepting Jesus and God as completely legit—right? Not really. At least I don’t think so, and it’s something I talk about in my book 10 Things I Hate About Christianity: Working Through the Frustrations of Faith. So Santa is something that my wife and I have spoken about in depth, because ultimately we want to be honest with out children.
Will we tell our kids about Santa?
More importantly, will Santa be the one who gives them their gifts?
On a humorous side-note, it’s funny how many atheists (and some agnostics) have railed me over the years for teaching my kids about Jesus and God—something that can’t be proven. You know, they want to wait to introduce ideas of faith and religion to their kids when they’re old enough to decide for themselves.
Sounds so intellectual and enlightened, right?
But these people have had no problem telling their kids about a fat guy sliding down the chimney with a sack full of gifts and eating the cookies and milk, his elves, flying reindeer, and somehow doing this at midnight in every home all around the world. What’s with that? Do I have a problem with the story of Santa? Not at all. We’re not Grinches. We tell our kids the story of the real Saint Nicholas. But we’ve decided that’s where it stops. Sorry Santa. No cookies for you at the Berggren home.
It’s not always easy. Last year our middle child (who was 5) confessed that he told a friend at school that day that Santa isn’t real. Of course, this is something we have coached our children notto do extensively. So we reprimanded him.
This issue may not be a big deal to you, and I understand. For us, this all came together when our oldest was about three. Like most, he was still enamored by the story Santa. We had to explain it again.
And when he added “…and Jesus and the Bible!” we were floored. Now, I’m sure there are some (that don’t believe in God) that love the fact my son made that connection. But for us, Jesus is real and we explained that to him all over again.
So there is a little dynamic about our family and Christmas. I’m sure you have some funny family dynamics as well. It’s what makes life interesting.
*Some of this has already appeared in my article 10 Things I Hate About the Holidays.
A True Christ-Mass Tree Trimmed…To Death
113 years
In Glastonbury, England there is a Christian monument that goes back 2,000 years–to the time of Christ. It is called “The Holy Thorn Tree of Glastonbury” and thousands of people visit it every year. Perhaps, we might literally call it a true Christmas Tree. That is, a ‘Christ Mass’ tree: people visit to celebrate what Christ did (his life, teachings, and death). In fact, I wish the traditional Christmas Tree we erect here in America and decorate during the holidays had it’s legend rooted in the Glastonbury Tree and not paganism, but that is another story.
As legend has it:
Saint Joseph (of Arimathea as told in in John 19:38–the guy who buried Jesus in his own tomb) travelled to this spot after Christ was crucified, taking with him the Holy Grail of Arthurian folklore.
He is said to have stuck his wooden staff – which had belonged to Jesus – into the ground on Wearyall Hill before he went to sleep. When he awoke it had sprouted into a thorn tree, which became a natural shrine for Christians across Europe.
To add to its sacred status, the tree ‘miraculously’ flowered twice a year – once at Christmas and once at Easter. It survived for hundreds of years before it was chopped down by puritans in the Civil War, but secret cuttings of the original were taken and planted around the town. –[online source]
But thee tree is no longer there because vandals cut it to pieces in the middle of the night. (see picture below)
Whether the legend is true or not is irrelevant. Personally, I don’t care for superstitious-type things like this. I am always cautious about them because I wonder if we are in jeopardy of idolatry (to use a churchy term): worshipping what is created rather than the Creator. Again, that is another story. Either way, this much is true: the tree is likely 2,000 years old and means a great deal to a great deal of people.
I think this is a terrible, tragic, and offensive act.
What kind of pathetic, disgusting, and reprobate person/people would do this? I have to wonder where the times we are living in are headed. I must confess that, to me, this is a bit foreboding. Behind closed doors when I am talking to close friends I’ll say over and over, “I think we’re living in strange times.” That is code for, “I think the world is teetering on a precipice of chaos.”
Sorry to harsh on your Christmas vibe, but that’s the truth. For example, you won’t see this happening to a Muslim Holy place. I have to ask, why is that? Are people afraid of Islam? And if you did, this story would be cycling through the news like a brushfire. It would be all about how intolerant we Westerners are, it’s a hate crime, and how awful Christian extremists are (that would somehow be worked in). Some stupid Congressman would probably propose some meaningless legislation that would waste time and money. (We would have to borrow $30 billion from China to pay for it, too.)
It may sound strange, but I often wonder (when things out of balance like this happen) if a major civil rights struggle and intolerance issue of the near future will somehow involve Christians (being the oppressed one, that is). I suppose many dissidents will say we had it coming, because of history and all.
What does change for me?
Nothing.
I’m still going to get up, go to work, and bring my kids to McDonald’s on the weekends. But I am also ready to endure, not be vengeful, and try to be a good example of the temperance, patience, and grace of Jesus. As I have said, when the world crushes me with pain, I will still stand with God.
Will you stand too?
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VIDEO: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer & Roxanne by the Police Mash-Up
113 years
Good Monday to you! Christmas is nearing so here is a hilarious mash-up between the song Roxanne (you don’t have to put on the red light) by the Police (one of my all-time favs) and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
Enjoy!
Hello Holidays, Bye Bye Christmas
413 years
So we had some friends over last night. We were relating some hilarious stories from our past weekend’s events (Thanksgiving). Mine included getting food poisoning on vacation, my 3-yr-old eating the pellets from the candy machine meant for feeding the ducks (because he thought they were candy, since they were in the candy dispenser), and my 6-yr-old running head first full stride into a mirror (in a mirror maze). Good stuff.
Anyway, a friend was relating the events of the weeks. Now, it was only Tuesday, so what could possibly be going on already?
He works at the public school up the street. This weekend they put up all the Christmas decorations around the school. But who could ever imagine Christmas decorations would mean trouble? Unfortunately, it does in this day-and-age where people cling to the false virtues of political correctness and ‘tolerance’ (because those crying about tolerance, never seem to be themselves).
First, everyone on staff (all the teachers etc.) were instructed to call the trees “Holiday Trees” and not Christmas Trees–because Christmas Trees are highly offensive, right?. As if that weren’t enough, a parent complained the first day the decorations were up (Monday) about the “Holiday Trees” being lit. So they had to take down all the lights on all the trees.
And it makes me wonder, who complained? it must have been either an Atheist, Agnostic, Jewish person, Muslim, or Hindu (or something). And why? Why is someone so annoyed or angry or bored, as a person, that they have to create controversy where there is none?
I’m sure you’ve heard about this nonsense in the news in some distant California town, but it’s another story to hear about this firsthand down the street in Atlanta. It’s sad really. How have we decided we have a human right in the US not to be offended? And we’ll spend money and effort defending that?
Besides, who gets offended by a Christmas Tree? Because the Christmas Tree is not actually a religious symbol (not even a Christian one). That’s the implied tension in this dispute–that a Christmas Tree is a Christian symbol and therefore not appropriate at a public school. Actually, that’s all false.
The Christmas Tree is actually a pagan symbol. The irony.
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VIDEO: Merry Metal Christmas
113 years
Hope Thanksgiving was good for you. Mine was…except for the food poisoning. Nothing like spending all this time and money going on a trip–and then getting sick. But that’s another story.
Anyway, it’s on to Christmas. Here is a unique light show somebody did to Slayer. It’s amazing.
Enjoy your Monday!
Merry Christmas!
314 years
Well Merry Christmas to you and your family! I wish you all the best. You can click here to read this passage and read more of the story of Jesus–a portion of which is quoted in the clip below. We’ll talks soon…
