caught somewhere between real life, simple faith, & raw emotion
How About An Atheist Christmas Carol
It’s Christmas time. So I was wondering what people who don’t believe in anything do during this season, since I wish everyone the best. Sure, they enjoy the merriment and paid vacations and food and gifts that is all the result of those of us celebrating the birth of Jesus through the ages. But that last part is, well, stupid. Right? Just ignore that.
Okay, okay. Maybe stupid is too harsh a word for this friendly time of year. If you believe that Jesus thing, then you’re just mislead and naive. See how Christmasy and friendly I feel?
In any event, I started thinking what atheists sing this time of year. So I looked for an atheist Christmas carol. Believe it or not, they exist. There are mostly mocking ones, but there are a few serious ones. I want to highlight both here.
First, the serious.
Much has been made of Vienna Teng’s The Atheist Christmas Carol. Now let’s ignore the fact that the word christ is in the very title. She sings very beautifully, for sure. And after listening to her beautiful song I decided to look deeper. And I found the lyrics, well, somewhat lacking in meaning.
That is not meant to be cliche or hyperbole. I am a writer, but I am a lyricist by nature first and foremost. The message was, in fact, fairly empty.
Pretty. But empty.
I suppose that is the challenge–writing something deep and meaningful about…nothing.
Here are the lyrics. See what you think.
It’s the season of grace coming out of the void
Where a man is saved by a voice in the distance
It’s the season of possible miracle cures
Where hope is currency and death is not the last unknown
Where time begins to fade
And age is welcome home
It’s the season of eyes meeting over the noise
And holding fast with sharp realization
It’s the season of cold making warmth a divine intervention
You are safe here you know now
Don’t forget, don’t forget
I love, I love, I love you
Don’t forget, don’t forget
I love, I love, I love you
It’s the season of scars and of wounds in the heart
Of feeling the full weight of our burdens
It’s the season of bowing our heads in the wind
And knowing we are not alone in fear, not alone in the dark
Don’t forget, don’t forget
I love, I love, I love you
Don’t forget, don’t forget
I love, I love, I love you
Next, I move on the a mocking Christmas carol. But let’s be kind. Let’s just call it humorous.
This one has no title. But it won an atheist Christmas carols contest over here. I think it’s very funny. And please stay for my comment at the end. Here are the lyrics.
*To the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas”*
On the first day a big mess exploded loud and free – remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the second day the suns and the planets came to be. No lifeforms yet,
but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the third day volcanoes erupted ceaselessly. ‘Twas pretty hot, no lifeforms yet, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the fourth day the landmasses grew above the sea. No God involved, still pretty hot, no lifeforms yet, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the fifth day the first cells swam around with glee. Naaaature is hot! No God involved, weather now fine, lifeforms are there, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the sixth day there’s backbones and eyes for all to see. Pretty cool stuff, Naaature is hot! No God involved, weather now fine, lifeforms are glad, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the seventh day some lifeforms came ashore to pee. They had legs a-running, pretty cool stuff, Naaature is hot! No God involved, weather now fine, lifeforms are glad, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the eight day the lizards ruled the land and sea. Introduce extinction, legs a-running no help, pretty cool stuff, Naaature is hot! No God involved, weather rather cold, lifeforms are few, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the ninth day some pre-apes decided to stand free. Soon they were dancing, around camp fires, with legs a-running, pretty cool stuff, Naaature is hot! No God involved, weather still cold, lifeforms have fun, but remember the Big Bang Theory.
On the tenth day the first priest invented idiocy. Gods everywhere now, they want us dancing, with legs a-hurting, oh, what a shame – aaall without proof! Gods getting pop’lar, weather now warm, lifeforms do pray, no one knows the Big Bang Theory.
On the eleventh day the churches controlled the minds unfree. Just one God, which one is right, they want crusaders, with swords a-slinging, oh, what a shame – aaall without proof! Monotheism, weather quite dark, lifeforms do pray, no one knows the Big Bang Theory.
*pitch upwards*
On the twelfth day the clever ones finally broke free! No more Gods, but atheism, science is right, tell the believers: “No swords a-slinging, no holy war, Naaature is hot! Weather is sunny, lifeforms shall think and we all love the Big Bang Theoryyyyyy!”
So there it is. The Big Bang Theory. It’s all built on that. The only ‘reasonable’ thing to ask is, how do you get something from nothing?
And atheists think they don’t have faith…
Fa la la, la la la, la la la!
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Hello. Atheist here. I’d like to say this: Most, if not all, of the religious meaning behind Christmas has disappeared. It is a national holiday, celebrated by people of all faiths. It is a time when Santa, (Rooted in the idea of St. Nicholas, yes, but he is now Santa Claus, a man who lives in the North Pole with his wife and Elves who build toys) gives those toys and boys and girls all over the world for being good. It is a time of gift giving and feeling the warmth of your friends and families love to combat the cold and bitter of winter more easily. I have always celebrated Christmas, and it has never meant anything more to me then a time when my family is together.
The first carol is not devoid of meaning. It states clearly that humans are here together to help one another get through difficult times and never to forget you are loved.
We can’t use the word Christmas because it has Christ in it? Okay, you can’t use the words Big, Bang, Theory, The, Evolution, Adaptation, Darwin, etc. and so forth. The list goes on for quite a while.
Also, December 25th was originally a pagan holiday adopted by the church to more easily attract pagans to their new religion.
Moreover, The Big Bang Theory is not something from nothing. There are many theories as to what came before it. One such, which is my favorite, is that there is an infinite number of “planes” lined up near each other. When two of these “planes” collide because they are attracted to one another, a big bang happened on both planes at the point of contact, pushing the two away from each other, and starting a universe in both. No, they are not 2-dimensional. Think of them more as big balls of wibbly wobbly stuff.
And finally, please stop bashing us. I have done nothing to you. All I have done is state what I believe to be true, as you have done. And here you are saying that I am apparently devoid of emotion during the holidays.
That is all. Thank you, and happy holidays.
Jon,
First, thanks for stopping by. I always enjoy these conversations. And of course, I a few thoughts in response.
I agree. The Christmas has become largely secularized and commercialized. But that doesn’t change what it’s about. And it doesn’t I think that people who don’t believe shouldn’t also celebrate and enjoy the holiday. For example, if I have a dinner party I want everyone to enjoy the meal I’ve prepared–not just those who believe what I believe. I am simply saying let’s not forget what it’s origins are. To do otherwise, devalues it, which I think you would agree as you alluded to the commercialism of it now.
I never said the first carol is devoid of meaning. I simply stated I found it somewhat empty. A fair critique if you ask me based on a reading of the lyrics.
I never said using ‘Christmas’ wasn’t allowed or anything. I just thinks its funny. In the end, these particular atheists fall back on religious names and themes. It is a bit ironic. In addition, I am not anti-science so using scientific terms is not antithetical to my personal philosophy. On the other hand, using religious terms in atheistic works like the carols is ironic, as stated before, since most atheists are anti-theists in the very least.
And as for the Big Bang Theory, your description is no more fantastical and no less a theory of origins supported by fact than me saying, “God created it all.” And at some point, whether we like it or not, something–a plane, a gas, or whatever–came from nothing. That is the train of events supported by science and evolution itself.
Lastly, I am not ‘bashing’ anyone. I am simply offering social commentary on the irony with a dash of humor. Let’s not be so thin skinned. And did you read the lyrics in the carol? There’s plenty of theist bashing in there if you didn’t notice. I also never said anyone was devoid of emotion. You’re reading into my few comments a bit too much.
But I do wish you all the best…and a Merry Christmas. Woops! I mean Happy Holiday, of course.
Jason, I just finished your article about “Why Jesus is so Offensive” after searching for something by such a title. I posted an “argument” on Facebook touching on this subject. Glad I found your article
Funny thing about Vienna Teng. I am surprised she entitled her song as such. So silly. I have been insisting in my Facebook talks that Atheists should change their identifying name to Anti-Christs, because in all honestly….that is exxactly what they are. You see them come out of the woodwork this time of year to specifically attack Christ and all he stood for, but there is rarely an attack on Ramadan, Hanukkah, Hinduism, Buddhism, Shintoism, and on and on. Thank you for your insight! I enjoyed it thoroughly and I know where to find you!
Thanks for stopping by. I agree that the title is wrong, but I’m not sure telling them anti-christ is right either. Not all of them are divisive. I’m just saying make up your own name for the holidays and stop using ours if it is so offensive. I’ll even take the unChristmas song or something.